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1. Introduction
"The world ... and the word ... according to caring."
The section is meant to be a growing and evolving tool to help understand
better what caring is. We understand that people have individual
ideas of what caring is ... however, we do believe that there is
a benefit to beginning this exercise. We may discover meanings that
we have not considered that can help our own thinking and doing
... and we also welcome your submissions of words and definitions
to us. Today we start with the letters a,b,c. The ABC's of caring
is a term that Alfie Kohn used in an article he wrote. You may wish
to look at his works. I list him as a resource in the weblinks window
of our website under featured sites
http://www.alfiekohn.org
Our web carer, Walter Smith, shared with me a fascinating site
that helps understand connections and meanings between words. We
offer it to you for your exploration, pleasure, and meaning. Perhaps
this can help all of us as we build this caring dictionary. http://www.plumbdesign.com/thesaurus
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2. "A"
Abilitate > To find an ability and help it along. This
is in contrast to debilitate which is to have an ability that can
be undermined ... or rehabilitate - which is to shore up and restrengthen
an ability that has been wounded. In some ways "abilitate"
ties into the philosophy of positive psychology which looks to find
where someone already has a strength and to help it to grow further.
(As editor, I had enjoyed using this word ... not sure if Daniel
Webster is familiar with it or not ... we invite you to contribute
words that make sense from your own use of language as well - Marty
Kirschen)
About > Caring about in contrast to caring for. Sometimes
we care about something that we have feelings for ... however do
not always follow up with an action. This may because we choose
not to (due to a low level of caring or "our plates may be
quite full regarding the caring actions we undertake), or it is
difficult to (helping all the hungry children in the world).
Affect > In that caring brings together a positive attitude
to a helpful action, affect would be the friendly or supportive
outer expression of an inner positive attitude. Affection
is a friendly feeling that is expressed.
Attitude > This is how we feel about someone or something.
When we are caring, our attitude is one in which we feel warm or
welcoming towards another. It is one in which we seek to see the
good that is contained within what the other (or we) are doing.
It is one in which we look at the other in terms of what is positively
possible.
A second way of having a caring attitude when we do not feel
naturally warm, welcoming or see the good in the other is to be
"willing" to try to drop our judgment and listen. ....
An organization that espouses the importance of bringing a warm
and welcoming attitude is The International Alliance for Invitational
Education. http://www.invitationaleducation.net/
The following is an excerpt from their home page.
Invitational Education, a theory of practice, maintains that every
person and everything in and around schools and other organizations
adds to, or subtracts from, the process of being a beneficial presence
in the lives of human beings. Ideally, the factors of people, places,
policies, programs and processes, should be so intentionally inviting
as to create a world in which each individual is cordially summoned
to develop intellectually, socially, physically, psychologically,
and spiritually.
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3. "B"
A caring "being" .... This is who we when we wake
up in the morning ... before any new thought or feeling comes to
us. This "who we are" ... perhaps related to a concept
of being "our self" comes from any combination of what
we inherit from our parents in birth, our environment and potentially
other factors as well. Therefore each time we experience caring
... whether we are primarily the one caring or being cared for,
it does become a part of us. That beautiful smile received yesterday
evening somehow this morning, I feel better, more responsive to
the world. In a sense, a caring being, is the "noun" ...
beautifully burnished by the "verbs" that are coming to
it and going from it so much of the time.
"Being" caring ... This is the act of caring whether
it is a natural inclination or because it is something we do where
we bring more volition ....
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4. "C"
Care> It can be useful to look at caring in two parts ... "care"
and "ing" - with "care" being how we feel and
"ing" being what we do about it. Another aspect to examine
here is what does it mean when we say "I am taking care of
someone," such as perhaps paying their expenses. Is this caring
if we do not feel caringly towards that person and are doing this
out of a sense of duty or begrudgingly. Nel Noddings in "Caring,
a Feminine approach to Ethics and Moral Education," examines
this question well.
Caring > Caring is knowing, feeling, and acting in the
interests of others.
(Linda Forcey)
To care for another person is to help him/her grow and actualize
him/herself.
(Milton Meyeroff)
To be concerned about and to facilitate the growth and actualization
of other people, the planet, and even oneself.
(Harriet Heath)
"Apprehending the other's reality, feeling what he feels
as nearly as possible, is the essential part of caring from the
view of the one-caring. For if I take on the other's reality
as possibility and begin to feel its reality, I feel, also, that
I must act accordingly."
(Nel Noddings)
Caring is to find importance in the thoughts, feelings and circumstances
of
others, and to reflect the importance of these things in our actions.
(Kristen Perkins)
Character > The relation between caring and character
is an important one. Often we refer to character as "character
education." It appears that caring is often listed as one of
a half dozen or more of ethical character traits such as respect,
honesty, fairness, responsibility and more. My concern is that I
believe when we list caring next to these other values we are sometimes
in danger of sweeping caring "under the carpet." This
is because caring is not just another one of these important values
... it is 1) an ingredient that is present in each of those values
and 2) it is a process that incorporates all of these other values
coming together. To read a more in depth discussion of this topic,
I refer you to another "window" within our website ...
caring
and character.
Circular > The circular nature of caring relates to the
cycle of caring. This can be visualized by thinking of caring
as something we do "as the result" of experiencing caring
and not so much "in return for caring." To be even more
direct ... caring becomes more something that is unconditional
than conditional. Something conditional is very back and
forth, very linear (I will help you in return for you helping me).
In caring, I respond to you because I want to or I believe it is
something I ought to do and not because I expect a specific caring
act in directly in return. Now, things to come back to us ... for
being on the being caring and "receiving" another ...
usually results in the "response" of the other. A response
that is appreciative and connecting. But again, what we are looking
at here is something more as reinforcing and building than "tit
for tat" or should we better say "this for that."
An article regarding the circular nature of caring appeared in our
September 1999 newsletter "Caring
that goes around comes around"
Commonality > Here we try to find that element of "caring"
that resides in many actions and approaches that are called by other
names. These approaches may deal with such situations as ... resolving
a conflict one is in, dealing with ones own impulses, spontaneously
giving a gift, helping someone to learn a skill, helping others
who are in physical or emotional pain, finding something that a
child already does well and helping them to do it better ... the
list goes on and on .... however, one thing is true ... and that
is that regardless of what happens and what people call it ... there
is something that is similar, common, to all these happenings that
is useful to understand. If we can find a way to show the interconnectedness,
the commonality between these approaches, it can be a way to increase
the cumulative power of people using these approaches. If
you refer to the commonality
window of our website, you can see how we are looking at this further.
Condole >
Compassion >
Conditional >
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