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1. Talking to children about violence & other sensitive
and complex Issues in the world
Adapted by Linda Lantieri from A Discussion Guide for Parents and
Educators by Susan Jones and Sheldon Berman, Educators for Social
Responsibility The guide can be read on the website for "Educators
for Social Responsibility http://www.esrnational.org/
mail inquiries to: educators
The editors at The Responsive Classroom say of the guide ...
Teachers and parents often feel confused about how to handle children's
questions about the violence that occurs in our world, especially
when it directly involves children such as the string of recent
shootings in schools. We have found the guide to be very helpful
in answering teachers’ and parents’ most frequently asked questions
about communicating with children about difficult issues in their
wider world.
The guide was reprinted as well on the Northeast Foundation for
Children's Website http://www.responsiveclassroom.org/feature_12.htm
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2. Regarding memoir writing
A teacher shared about a site for memoir writing geared to fourth
graders. Certainly, this is an opportunity to go deep ... and be
adapted for higher or lower grades.
Memoir: The Stuff of Our Lives http://www.stf.sk.ca/ps/src/tmc/e11276/e11276.htm
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3. The Soul of Education: Helping Students Find Connection,
Compassion and Character at School. Book by Rachael Kessler,
reviewed by John Terry
Rachael Kessler
ASCD Publishing Company
ISBN:
This book triggered angry feelings for me. I wished I had a teacher
like Rachael Kessler when I was growing up. Indeed, so few young
people do. I caught myself recollecting my teen years, when I asked
the very same questions the youth explore in the "Council"—an
integral part of the Passages program described in the book. The
youth in my generation had no Council for raising these questions;
no safe place to tell stories, reveal the mystical, ponder meaning,
or explore differences. Yet, as I later learned in my undergraduate
studies in philosophy, it is the exploration of precisely these
questions that provides the insight, sensitivity, empathy, and wisdom
thatthe inner self to the path of a civil society and a meaningful
life. This is the forerunner of virtue. A few examples from Rachael’s
book will illustrate the type of universal questions I mean:
Why do I feel scared and confused about becoming an adult?
What does it mean to accept that this is my life and I have responsibility
for it?
How do I know I am normal? What is normal?
Why do people hate others—blacks, whites, Hispanics, etc.?
What is our purpose in life?
Why do people tire of life?
How does one determine one’s sexuality?
Are there symptoms? Is it a decision or a natural "given"—are
you stuck with it or is there a choice?
Why are people so cold in taking care of the planet?
How come people kill other people?
Where do we go when we die?
This is but a sample of a myriad of questions that young people
explore in the Council in the search of the inner self and the connection
to the outer world.
This book lays out an excellent discussion regarding the education
of the soul: why it is needed in public schools and exactly how
to teach it without violating the First Amendment or stomping on
the toes of organized religious groups.
Spirituality is a basic ingredient to our humanity with multiple
domains and forms of expression, of which formal religion is but
one. This book lays out an excellent discussion regarding the education
of the soul: why it is needed in public schools and exactly how
to teach it without violating the First Amendment or stomping on
the toes of organized religious groups. In fact, any thoughtful
review of this book will reveal that the type of spiritual development
Rachael is proposing is "simpatico" with most organized
religions. Further, and this is a critical point, she emphasizes
the emptiness and frustration in individuals that results from spiritual
paucity, and how this fact may lead to severe consequences for youth
and community. In this discussion the author makes a connection
between youth devoid of positive spirituality and acts of violence.
It makes sense that Rachael Kessler writes and teaches about the
need for spiritual education in our schools. Born to parents who
learned the year of her birth that most of their families had been
sacrificed to the Holocaust, the author writes,
I was carried in the womb of that grief, I grew up in a family where
suffering was imbued with nobility. . . it was noble both to suffer
and mitigate the suffering of others.
By her late teens Rachael had found a purpose to embrace: to reduce
the suffering in this world to the extent she could. She has been
working to achieve this mission ever since.
This is a must-have on the bookshelf: a good "how-to"
reference, backed up by solid philosophical underpinnings and appropriate
methods.
John Terry
www.cydjournal.org
Community Youth Development
Rachael Kessler's website is http://www.mediatorsfoundation.org/isel/
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Introducing Ron Miller and his holistic views ...
We introduce Ron Miller, an educator who speaks much on the importance
of Holistic education. We offer excerpts from two written pieces
and an introduction to a magazine on which he serves on the editorial
board ...
Ron Miller - part 1 of 3
He wrote an article “Educating for Wholeness” that appears
in Great Ideas in Education - the joint website of Holistic Education
Press, Psychology Press, and the publishing division of the Foundation
for Educational Renewal. Here are some excerpts from that writing.
You may see the full article in the link provided.
Educating for Wholeness ... Three excerpts ....
What is the meaning of human existence? What are the truest and
highest purposes of human life? What makes for a decent and meaningful
and fulfilling culture? A civilization's answers to these fundamental
questions determine the forms and processes of education it provides
to its young people ...
When we consider the social and political pressures on our own schools
today, it is obvious that modern American culture defines what it
means to be human very differently. Our culture believes that people
are essentially competitive, acquisitive creatures; we seek personal
advantage and security wherever possible, and find pleasure primarily
by endlessly increasing our material wealth and comfort.
If we are to reclaim a deeper meaning of life, we must rethink
our entire system of schooling and redefine what we mean by "education."
Education for wholeness is not simply the training of the intellect
but the nourishing of the soul.
Ron Miller
http://www.great-ideas.org/gie13.htm
Home page ... http://www.great-ideas.org/index.htm
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Ron Miller - part 2 of 3
Following is a list of selected transcripts from the Spirituality
in Education Conference at The Naropa Institute held May 30th to
June 3rd, 1997. Steven Glazer, former Director of Continuing
Education and primary organizer of the Conference, has recently
left Naropa to work full-time on a book about the Conference. That
book was recently reviewed on our site.
The website listed below has transcripts of the following lectures
made at that conference. They are from ... His Holiness, the Dalai
Lama - "Education and the Human Heart," Parker J. Palmer
- "The Grace of Great Things: Reclaiming the Sacred in Knowing,
Teaching, & Learning," John Taylor Gatto - "Education
and the Western Spiritual Tradition," Ron Miller - "Holistic
Education for an Emerging Culture."
We offer you here theng words of Ron Miller’s talk
-
Holistic Education for an Emerging Culture
My goal today is to acquaint you more than you already may be
with the kinds of spiritually influenced education that have emerged
over the last couple of centuries and particularly the last couple
of decades.
My message is twofold. First, your work is difficult, there's no
question about that, because our culture, as it is now, is fundamentally
hostile to the meanings of spirituality that we have discussed here.
There's no way around that. But, on the other hand, we are entering
an historic period of transition from one dominant worldview to
another that is going to be radically different. All of us working
in this fledgling holistic education movement are pioneers on a
rough and uncharted frontier. There are no reliable techniques or
simple solutions to make our task easier. I'm not promising that.
We need many different tools, many different approaches in order
to make this transformation happen.
http://csf.colorado.edu/sine/trans.html
This talk can also be accessed by the following site
http://globalcircle.net/rmiller.htm
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Ron Miller - part 3 of 3
A magazine that turns towards holistic education ...
Ron Miller serves on the editorial board of the magazine "ENCOUNTER:
Education for Meaning and Social Justice." Jack Miller,
whose book “The Soul in Education” will be reviewed soon
on our website also serves on the board. As does Nel Noddings and
Riane Eisler - two persons we have turned to often. We offer below
meaningful excerpts from theng pages of the Magazine's website.
ENCOUNTER: Education for Meaning and Social Justice
This is a quote they have included under the name of their Journal
Surely there is more to education and life than the incessant
struggle to compete, surpass, and achieve for the sake of higher
income and status. Whatever happened to education for expanding
personal horizons, for the joy of learning, for strengthening democracy,
and for contributing to social justice?
-- David E. Purpel
An article in the most recent issue - Winter 2000 - I plan to read.
The Spiritual Child:
Appreciating Children's Transformative Effects on Adults by
James J. Dillon
Once we recognize -- and move beyond -- our preconceptions about
the nature of spirituality, weourselves to the possibility
of appreciating the true depth of spirituality among children.
http://www.great-ideas.org/enc.htm
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
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5. Holistic Influences of Jack Miller (new March 2001)
I would like to introduce the works of Jack Miller to our website.
He is very involved in teaching and promoting holistic education.
Here is role as a) professor, b) networker, c) conference organizer
and d) author --- are all referred to. I appreciate the spirit and
spirituality he brings to his endeavors. Most of the writings below
are excerpted or paraphrased from the websites referred to.
********************************
(A) Introducing Dr. Jack Miller in his role of Professor
Department of Curriculum, Teaching and Learning
The Ontario Institute for Studies in Education/University of Toronto
The school has an interdisciplinary Focus in the Department of Curriculum,
Teaching and Learning. He is the coordinator of a graduate focus
in Holistic and Aesthetic Education at the University.
Holistic and aesthetic education recognizes the interconnectedness
of body, mind, emotions, and spirit. Learning is viewed as an experiential,
organic process; making connections is seen as central to curriculum
processes. An aesthetic perspective and the process of building
knowledge through inquiry are seen as integral to all forms of education
and life itself. Creative tools and webs of communication are explored
within this context. Courses in this program focus on arts education,
creativity, contemplation, imagery, literature, mathematics and
technology, and experience-based approaches to language.
http://noisey.oise.utoronto.ca/holistic/index.html
********************************
(B) Jack Miller’s role as current facilitator of the
The Holistic Education Network
What is Holistic Education
Holistic Education is based on the principle of interconnectedness.
Thus it seeks to develop approaches to teaching and learning that
foster connections between subjects, between learners through various
forms of community. Holistic Education also seeks a dynamic balance
in the learning situation between such elements as content and process,
learning and assessment, and analytic and creative thinking. Finally,
Holistic Education is inclusive in terms of including a broad range
of students and a variety of learning approaches to meet their diverse
learning needs.
This network was founded in 1990 by John Palladino and attempts
to foster communication and networking among educators interested
in Holistic Education. The network publishes a newsletter The Holistic
Educator twice a year for its members. The network also conducts
sessions at the ASCD annual conference. Some sessions explore ideas
and themes related to Holistic Education and other sessions allow
for interaction and discussion amongst its members as well as others
interested in Holistic Education.
Membership
You can visit the website to learn more and learn how to join if
you wish.
http://noisey.oise.utoronto.ca/holistic/ascd.html
email: jmiller
********************************
(C) Regarding the conference he is organizing:
Holistic Learning: Breaking New Ground
The Ontario Institute for Studies in Education/
University of Toronto, Canada
October 19-21, 2001
The theme of this international holistic conference is "Exploring
Soul and Partnerships in Education" and features noted speakers
Thomas Moore and Riane Eisler.
Registration information
You may visit the website listed below to find information.
Links of Interest to Holistic Educators
The home page for the conference links to some very interesting
holistically oriented websites that appear to be somehow involved
with the conference. I spent some time exploring these links and
found some gems. The names of the links are below. Visiting the
conference website will show you how to access the links yourself.
~ CTL: Holistic and Aesthetic Studies
~ Center for Partnership Studies
~ The Fountain - a resource collection for the contemplative practitioner
~ Findhorn Foundation: Spirit of Learning- Soul in Education Conference
~ Civitas Catalyst: Resources include article by Riane Eisler on
Partnerships
~ The Spa - links for Holistic Educators
~ Japan Association of Holistic Education
~ Global Declaration of Soul Education
~ The Garden - a guided meditation
http://www.oise.utoronto.ca/~skarsten/holistic/newground2001.html
********************************
(D) Regarding his book ...
EDUCATION AND THE SOUL
Toward a Spiritual Curriculum by John P. Miller
With a Foreword by Thomas Moore
Jack Miller has written a number of articles and books dealing with
holistic education. His books include, The Holistic Curriculum,
Holistic Learning, and The Holistic Teacher. This recent work “Education
and the Soul,” has garnered encouraging words from the group
of writers - all involved in bringing meaning to education and life.
These reviews were included on the SUNY press website.
"Education and the Soul is a coherent, wide-ranging, thoughtful,
and accessible response to the question of how we can bring the
soul into the daily fabric of schooling. What I like most is that
its practicality and utility are grounded in life-long study, a
calm and powerful wisdom, and an ability to integrate theory and
practice." --David Marshak, author of The Common Vision:
Parenting and Educating for Wholeness
"I can't imagine anything more important to our society than
to bring soul back into education. In that spirit I support Jack
Miller's leadership as he plays the role of duke, leading us all
into the world where the genius in each of us may take root and
find joyful manifestation." -- Thomas Moore, from the
Foreword
"Addressing a vital but neglected topic in education, Miller
demonstrates the need for an education of, by, and for the soul
in contrast to the vacuousness of contemporary reform efforts. The
book follows a coherent conceptual framework and provides unique
insights into both educational theory and practice. The extensive
material on educational practices enables the reader to apply a
broad and profound conception of the soul to the everyday classroom.
I know of no other text that provides such detail on the meaningful
educational application of transcendental ideas." -- Jeffrey
Kane, editor of Education, Information, and Transformation:
Essays on Learning and Thinking
December 1999
State University of New York Press
http://www.sunypress.edu/backads/c43418.html
For more information contact SUNY Press at info
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6. Nourishing students in school - Rachael Kessler (September
1999)
Rachael Kessler - Director of the Institute of Social and Emotional
Learning helps us and the children to take a deeper more spiritual
look at these dreams.
Once having identified such basic needs as success, friendship,
safety
and power, she offers a list of six experiences that nourish spiritual
development. It is the sensitive teacher who throughdialogue
that can help the children to discover these areas. They are ...
1 The search for meaning and purpose (why am I here, does my life
have purpose...)
2 the longing for silence and solitude (can lead to identity formation,
goal setting, learning readiness, inner peace...) ,
3 the urge for transcendence (describes the desire of young people
to go beyond perceived limit - it includes the arts, athletics,
academics, human relations...),
4 the hunger for joy and delight (can be simple such as a play,
celebration, gratitude...),
5 the creative drive (a process infused with depth, meaning and
mystery...)
6 and the need for initiation (refers to a hunger the ancients met
through rites of passage for their young). For your students it
can be the anticipation of the appearance of the first permanent
tooth or passage to middle school.
This was written about by Rachael Kessler in “Educational Leadership”
Issue Dec 98/Jan 99 - The Spirit of Education. Her article is “Nourishing
Students in Secular Schools (a complementary article in the same
issue is by Charles Suhor, ‘Spirituality - Letting It Grow
in the Classroom’)” Rachael Kessler has written a book
- “The Soul of Education,” published by ASCD which is
reviewed in this section of our website. She facilitates workshops
(even though she is oriented more towards middle school, believe
teachers in lower and higher grades can also benefit).
Her email address is SELRachael.
http://www.mediatorsfoundation.org/isel/workshops.htm
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A MEDITATION ... an excerpt on loving kindness from
“Embracing the Beloved,” by Stephen and Ondrea Levine
(April 2000)
This initial passage of the authors meditation titled “Loving
Kindness
Meditation” contains a wholeness of expression on healing the
mind
whileng the heart.
“Sitting comfortably, allow the attention to come gradually
to the breath.
The breath coming and going all by itself deep within the body.
Take a
few moments to allow the attention to gather within the even rhythm
of the breath. Turning gently within, begin to direct, toward you
some,
care for your own well-being. Begin to look on yourself as though
you were your only child. Have mercy on you. Silently in the heart
say, “May I be free from suffering. May I be at peace.”
Just feel the
breath breathing into the heart space as we relate to ourselves
with
kindness and care. Allow the heart, silently, to whisper the words
of
mercy that heal, that “May I be free from suffering.
May I be
at peace.” Allow yourself to be healed.”
“Embracing the Beloved” by Stephen and Ondrea Levine,
Anchor books (page 203)
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8. Caring for myself ... from Milton Mayeroff
Intro ...
“I may care for myself by being responsive to my own needs
to
grow ... To care for myself, I must be able to experience myself
as
other (I must be able to see myself from the inside as I appear
on
the outside), and at the same time I must feel at one with myself
rather than cut off an estranged from myself.”
Ego ...
“Egocentricity is morbid preoccupation with self and opaqueness
to the needs of others. But there is nothing egocentric about caring
for myself. First, the self-idolatry and the preoccupation with
whether or not others admire me that are characteristic of egocentricity
have nothing to do with helping myself to grow. In fact, the egocentric
person is not fundamentally interested in himself, he avoids looking
honestly at himself because he is essentially indifferent to his
own
needs to actualize himself. The self-complacency that often
accompanies egocentricity is the converse of responding to one’s
own needs to grow.”
Outgo ...
“Second, caring for myself takes into account my need to care
for
something or someone outside of myself. I can only fulfill myself
by serving someone or something apart from myself, and if I am
unable to care for anyone or anything separate from me, I am
unable to care for myself.”
“On Caring” by Milton Mayeroff,
Harper Perennial (p 59, 60)
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9. Peter McLaren ... an idyllic afternoon
“During the last weeks of school, I took the kids to the park
almost
daily. I brought a cassette machine along with some vintage tapes
of blues artists. Listening to the blues has always had a peaceful
effect on me, and I hoped they could relax to some of the songs.
I put the machine under a tree and turned it on. A half dozen kids
started tapping their feet almost immediately as Bessie Smith, Charlie
Patton, Blind Lemon Jefferson, and Billie Holiday sang haunting
parables about the tragic underbelly of urban life.
Kids who weren’t interested in the music ran across the park
to the
baseball diamond or else made for the swings. I lay down on the
park
bench and watched a sky full of dark clouds move slowly overhead,
as if they were slowed in passing by the beauty of the music. A
brisk gust of wind scattered paper and debris: the leaves flicked
and
eddied about the bench.
Mickey inched up to me and nudged my arm. ‘The music sounds
real good,’ he said. ‘But it’s sad.’”
“Life in Schools” by Peter McLaren,
Longman (p 144)
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10. Thomas Moore - on nature ...
“Although nature is usually thought of as the quintessential
example
of the material world, paradoxically nature gives us the most
fundamentalng to spirit. Mountains, rivers, and deserts,
enjoying a lifetime far exceeding our own, give us a taste of eternity,
and an ancient forest or gorge reminds us that our own lives are
brief
in comparison. In nature, we become sensitive to our mortality and
to the immensity of the life that is our matrix, and both of these
sensations, mortality and immensity, offer the foundation for a
spiritual life.”
“... Nature is not only a source of spirit; it also has soul.
Spiritually,
nature directs our attention toward eternity, but at the same time
it
contains us and creates an intimacy with our own personal lives
that
nurtures the soul. The individuality of a tree or rock or pool of
water
is another sign of nature’s soul. These intriguing natural
beings not
only point outward toward infinity; more intimately, they also
befriend us. It’s easy to love groves of trees or mountain
ridges, to
feel related to them as though by blood, and to be secure in their
familial protection.”
“Re-enchantment of Everyday Life”
by Thomas Moore, Harper Collins (Page 4,5)
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11. THE POSITIVE EMOTION OF ELEVATION - a link to
an article by Jon Haidt
In a talk I heard Dr. Seligman give on Positive Psychology, he pointed
out the
importance for researchers to document and build empirical evidence
of 'good
feelings.' He recommended the work of Jon Haidt from the University
of
Virginia. In a paper he wrote on the positive emotion of elevation
for the
Prevention and Treatment Journal for the American Psychological
Association,
Dr.Haidt says that elevation involves a warm glowing feeling in
the chest, and
it makes people want to become morally better themselves because
it increases
one's desire to affiliate with and help others.
You may wish to link to this article. We hear in our society
so much about
bad and sad feelings and what we can do to deal with them.
Here we have
another way of helping.
by Jon Haidt
http://journals.apa.org/prevention/volume3/pre0030003c.html
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12. KNOWING SELF: DISCOVERY, ENHANCEMENT, AND FULFILLMENT
Copyright August 1, 2001 Melody L. Lark, Ph.D.
Readers may print the article from our Web site, but not reproduce
or use the contents of the article without permission of Dr. Lark.
Information regarding contacting her is at the end of the article.
PRELUDE
Life, in every respect, really is all about you; how you perceive
it, receive it, and react to it -- in any order. Perhaps you are
reading this article to confirm that you know you. Maybe you are
reading the article because you desire to connect with you. Regardless
of your attraction to the article, its purpose is to help you realize
that however familiar you are with you, knowing self is a lifelong,
multidimensional, complex and nonlinear process.
Although the process may generate frustration periodically, it is
fulfilling if it enhances who you are. Self-enhancement, or becoming
who you want to be ethically, is the second component of the article.
Self- enhancement is possible only after you separate who you are
from whom other people want you to be. Doing so is the first component
of the article. The third component is balancing self-interest with
the interests of others. Each component raises questions for Self-reflection
and offers Guidance.
Answering the questions and accepting the guidance demand honesty.
Only you can choose what to answer and what to accept. As you do
either, remember to have compassion for you and for others, to accept
you, to have faith in a positive outcome, to enjoy quiet time, to
objectively observe and analyze evidence, and to satisfy your commitment
to self-discovery, self-enhancement, and self-fulfillment.
I.) SELF DISCOVERY: SEPARATING WHO YOU ARE FROM WHOM OTHERS WANT
YOU TO BE One prominent reward of self-knowledge is that you have
invested energy in something more constructive than in judging others,
in living up to unhealthy expectations, and in underestimating or
overestimating self. Self-knowledge is an awareness that you acquire
through your senses. Indeed, one sense influences the other senses.
And, all senses capture and transmit substantial information.
Your senses -- feeling, hearing, intuiting, seeing, smelling, and
tasting -- say a lot about you. Intuiting occurs through energy
beyond what you physically feel, hear, see, smell, and taste. You
develop intuition through faith and recognition and compliance.
Let intuition guide you as to whether, how, and when to respond
to a situation. You can sharpen your intuition by focusing your
senses on what is happening in the present moment.
A sharp intuition will allow you to touch the causes and consequences
of your senses. Such touching must be without condemnation. Remember
this as you slowly progress through Self-Reflection and as you consider
the Guidance.
I. A.) Self-Reflection
1) Who do you believe you are? 2) How do you know who you are; through
(un)pleasant feelings, through self-reflection, or through feedback
from others? 3) How reliable are your sources of knowledge? 4) Can
you transcend yourself to observe you? 5) What do you observe about
you when you are alone and when you are with others? 6) How do you
look while you groom, eat, talk, walk, yell, manipulate, or show
concern for others? 7) Are you pleased with who you see, with what
you are observing? 8) Have you ever stated what you would never
think, say, or do only to discover that you have done just that?
9) Is the contradiction between your “never” pledge and reality
due to the little certainty with which you can predict the future?
10) Are you genuine or a pretense? 11) What shattered the image
you or others have of you? 12) Is self-knowledge limited to who
you have been and who you are? 13) How useful is self-knowledge?
14) Are the rewards of self-knowledge worth the challenges along
the road to acquiring it? 15) What is meaningful to you? 16) What
do your senses say about you?
I. B.) Guidance
1) Be mindful of your senses without considering the preferences
of others. 2) Think about how you respond to colors, patterns, shapes,
designs, styles, texture, temperature, seasons, and the elements
(air, earth, fire, and water). 3) Understand what appeals to you
or repulses you in clothing, food, hair, furniture, cars, homes,
sports, hobbies, yards, bodies, movies, music, jewelry, etc. 4)
Know the time of day that you are at your best and plan important
activities during that time. 5) Tune into your sleep pattern to
discover when you acquire the rest that you need. 6) Become intimate
with your gifts. 7) Appreciate, share, and improve your gifts (senses
and skills).
II.) SELF-ENHANCEMENT: BECOMING WHO YOU WANT TO BE ETHICALLY
The fruits of your gifts are not just in separating who you are
from whom others want you to be. Rewards also are present through
your determination to enhance self. Focusing on who you want to
become and investing energy towards that end will sustain you through
life’s twists and turns. For sure, you know little about the twists
and turns you will encounter. Be assured, however, that the twists
and turns are life’s test of your determination to change with as
many ethics at your disposal.
With every misrepresentation of the truth -- about self, about others,
about anything, you create a spiritual debt. Repayment includes
the deed plus additional energy in interest and penalties. Notice
that this is the total consequence of which the deed is just a portion.
Whereas you control the deed and can identify at least some of the
objects of your deed, repayment involves many unknowns that you
do not control. The unknowns span whom you owe (you likely will
repay someone other than who you harmed), length of repayment, and
method of repayment (installments, frequency of payments, and lump
sum).
The point simply is this: enhance self to accumulate more spiritual
points and to forego spiritual debts. You accumulate spiritual points
through compassionate reactions to life’s twists and turns. An increase
in compassionate reactions and a reduction in narrow-minded reactions
report your movement towards or away from your higher self. The
gap between you and your higher self will shrink as you cultivate
you with available resources, and as you create the resources for
cultivating you. No coincidence that self-determination creates
the resources for satisfying needs and desires. Use the resources
ethically to learn each of life's lessons. The lessons become easier
as you resonate around your core.
Another reliable barometer of movement towards your higher self
is an increase in comfort when you are alone and when you are with
others. Add to this an increase in comfort that others feel in your
presence. Other measures of your proximity to your higher self are
fewer apologies and regrets; peaceful sleep; longer and more intense
feelings of well-being, joy, and goodwill; and decreased guilt.
As you approach your higher self, you experience unpleasant feelings
less. Thus, your body, mind, and soul radiate serene energy. Allow
Self-Reflection and Guidance to further acquaint you with this energy.
II. A.) Self-Reflection
1) Who is your best self? 2) How can you become your best self?
3) What has happened during previous endeavors to enhance self?
4) Who and what were your greatest challenges to self-enhancement?
5) How can you approach self-enhancement differently? 6) Who or
what (reading, writing, thinking, audio tapes, video tapes, time
management, classes, group endeavors like classes or a support group,
environment) can assist you with self-enhancement? 7) How easily
can you eliminate anyone or anything that is not compatible with
the self you are enhancing? 8) Collect pictures of pleasurable people,
nature, and things; of whatever makes your soul sing.
II. B.) Guidance
1) Be attentive to anger, tone of voice, speech patterns, talking,
listening, (dis)comfort with silence, breathing, fear, truthfulness,
twitches, eye contact and other body language, as well as with stillness
versus activity. 2) Prepare a schedule for your desired typical
day. Include practical tasks that you cannot escape or delegate
such as cleaning your body, eating, quiet time, exercise, travel
time, work, sleep, hobbies, and errands. 3) Know what you should
do. Do it to the best of your ability with your resources (emotional,
financial, mental, physical, social, and spiritual). 4) Consciously
implement your self-enhancement plan without whining or acting as
victim, martyr or savior. These are roles that life and people’s
reactions to you will accommodate. As such, these roles sabotage
self-enhancement. 5) Forget about everyone and just consider your
thoughts and behavior that have yielded pleasant consequences. Realize
that pleasant thoughts inspire pleasant behavior to which people
tend to react pleasantly. 6) Be kind to you by learning from consequences
the first time you experience them. Forgive you. And, devise a self-enhancement
plan. Monitor your progress, periodically review the Self-Knowledge
section above, and revise the self-enhancement plan as necessary
if for no other reason than to think about you. As you change, so
will people’s response to you change and perhaps your self-enhancement
plan. 7) Match the image you present to who you are in reality.
Doing so will create inner and interpersonal harmony. Live your
life as though all that you think and do is on a video tape. 8)
Purge harmful thoughts and cease harmful behavior because they are
not compatible with health and social appeal. Just as weeds eventually
smother desired flowers, harmful thoughts and behavior eventually
leave no room for healthy thoughts and behavior. Tend to self as
you must tend to a flourishing garden; persistently with love and
optimism, and with the appropriate conditions (vitamins, air, earth,
temperature, sun, and water). 9) Use positive self-talk to bluff
yourself into believing that you are progressing towards your aspirations.
Do this through affirmations and by surrounding yourself with encouraging
people and things. By all means, go places where you feel good.
Do what injects you with hope. These are strategic bluffs that cease
as bluffs as your faith deepens and as your experiences close the
gap between desires and reality.
III.) SELF-FULFILLMENT: BALANCING SELF-INTEREST WITH THE INTERESTS
OF OTHERS Self-fulfillment occurs when you advance in the direction
of your life’s mission. You must know self to know the mission.
Moreover, self-fulfillment does not depend on monetary compensation.
Rather, self-fulfillment depends on nurturing your soul, and on
respecting as well as supporting the interests of other people with
good intentions. This makes life meaningful. A meaningful life is
more important, spiritually and otherwise, than a life that is full
of unwanted or unhealthy things and people. You must remove such
clutter to pave the way for self-fulfillment.
Working on or wishing for self-fulfillment implies that something
that you desire could leave your life or is missing from your life.
Another implication is that you have not synchronized your energy
with your life’s mission. The absence of synchronization leaves
room for struggle. Struggle gives you at least three signals. One
signal is that you may want too much pleasure for too long. Too
much of anything can lose its pleasure. Struggle also signals that
your effort may challenge life’s timing. Sometimes we have to get
out of the way of life, let it happen of its own accord, cease the
struggle. In addition, struggle signals that you may be postponing
a greater good byy defying change. Any change can be as good
as you make it and can offer at least as much fulfillment as the
old way.
The three signals of struggle provoke three points: (a) You cannot
be too sure of how much ease or struggle life’s master plan for
you entails; (b) you may have triggered the struggle unnecessarily;
and, (c) struggle can take you to knowing and strengthening self.
With or without struggle, self-fulfillment always is a possibility.
Sometimes the only way for you to experience self-fulfillment is
to experience emptiness; hitting bottom. You may lose people and
things or lose from your association with people and things. The
loss is a distinct possibility when you inappropriately use people
and things to define you, to assess your worth. A great fear is
the fear of losing people and things. You inevitably lose or encounter
whatever you fear. Yet, with the loss of people and things that
do not bring out your best self, you learn to rely more on the positive
forces of life.
Why bother to discover and enhance self if not to experience self-fulfillment?
Oddly enough, that fulfillment is an outcome of knowing how much
of self to give without sacrificing self. Quite honestly, what is
the extent of fulfillment without sharing with others, without lovingly
guiding them at their request, and without caring for them? The
ultimate purpose in life is to make a positive difference in the
quality of life for as many people as possible. The self-fulfillment
aspect is to make this difference by doing what you do best often,
to the best of your ability, with pleasant thoughts, and with passion.
If self-interest makes you the first priority, and if focusing on
the interests of others puts your interests in second place, then
balance emerges from compromise and acceptance. Both are necessary
as long as you cannot control everything living, nature included,
in your sphere. No human has this control. What you can do, however,
is align your compromises and what you accept with good health.
Self-Reflection and Guidance can help you with this alignment.
III. A.) Self-Reflection
1) What were you doing when you lost your awareness of time, place,
inhibitions, and the opinions of others? 2) What do you do best
or feel joy while doing? 3) When have you felt as though you were
doing what you were born to do? 4) When and how did you realize
what you were born to do? 5) How often do you have this feeling?
How can you experience more of this feeling? 6) How does just thinking
about the activity spark longing and contentment and excitement
and new ideas and a connection with self? 7) What environment, skills,
people, and other resources are associated with the feeling? 8)
List what you want to do before you die? 9) Describe what you have
done and must do to prepare you to accomplish the list. 10) What
does balancing self-interest with the interests of others mean to
you? 11) How can you increase the compatibility of self-interest
with the interests of others? 12) What are the sacrifices (emotional,
financial, mental, physical, social, and spiritual) that balancing
these interests require? 13) How willing are you to make the sacrifices?
III. B.) Guidance
1) Become more sensitive to your feelings and to the feelings of
others. 2) Avoid intentionally harming others as you intentionally
nurture you. 3) Persistently weigh your interests with the interests
of others to achieve healthy compromises. 4) Periodically answer
the questions in the Self-Reflection to maximize self-fulfillment.
5) Discuss how your heart sings when you are thoroughly immersed
in self-fulfillment with someone you trust. The discussion will
allow you to attach words to your feelings, to experience pleasant
feelings, and to increase your clarity. 6) Read about, observe,
and interact with people who share your interests. The opportunities
for self-discovery, self-enhancement, and self-fulfillment are abundant.
SYNOPSIS
How easily we believe we know who we are and what we will do. Yet,
we do have self-knowledge, but generally only categorically. The
knowledge usually flows from specific past circumstances. But who
are you holistically? Can you depict the threads and the themes
that weave through your life and form your life's patterns? Are
you proud of the patterns? If the patterns were on a video tape,
what would you erase?
Whereas life does not allow you to erase the past, it is gentle
enough to let you learn about you from the past and create a new
present, line-by-line until an admirable picture of you emerges.
Be patient with you and with others as you undergo the metamorphosis
that self-enhancement often demands. Remember that loved ones may
not recognize or respond to the new or evolving you. The reason
is that either they have fixed notions of you, or you taught them
what to expect from your thoughts and behavior. Just acknowledge
how long old patterns thrived, then adjust and reinforce the new
patterns.
As important, give yourself and loved ones time to trust how you
are getting to know you. Work diligently on self-discovery, self-enhancement,
and self-fulfillment. Trust the process of self-evolution and reward
your work. People who witness your work will follow your lead or
demonstrate that they are no longer essential to your life.
Eliminating people and things that do not strengthen your sense
of self will lead you to an existence in which you take pride. You
will accept that you belong in your body to fulfill your purpose
in life with passion. This purpose, no doubt, involves finding your
voice without intentionally pushing another voice out of tune.
SENSE OF SELF WORKSHOPS
Inform Dr. Lark of your desire for more information or to attend
Sense Of Self Workshops. During the workshops, Dr. Lark guides participants
through self-reflection exercises and through confidentially identifying
patterns in thoughts, behavior, and consequences. Participants receive
a workshop book and can purchase Sense Of Self Management.
Sense Of Self Management is a calendar and journal for focusing
thoughts, behavior, time, and money. It simplifies life by providing
words of wisdom and space for commitments, communication, goals,
items to obtain, dreams, and lessons. In addition to these daily
and weekly features, Sense Of Self Management provides a month-at-a-glance
as well as a year-at-a-glance for the current year. Also, Sense
Of Self Management concisely presents next year and Sense Of Self
Workshops: Synopsis.
To order Sense Of Self Management, published in August, contact:
Melody L. Lark, Ph.D. Director, Sense Of Self Workshops POB 607
Claremont, CA Telephone: E-mail: melody.lark
Return to top
13. Speaking to children after
a disaster (Sep 2001)
Talking with Children
When the Talking Gets Tough
Wars, shootings in schools, natural disasters, deaths at sporting
events—as
adults we hope that these and other tragic outcomes will never happen
anywhere and definitely will not impact the children and youth we
care
about. We would like to protect those young minds from the pain
and horror
of difficult situations. We would like to ensure that they have
happy,
innocent, and carefree lives.
So what is a parent, teacher, or other caring adult to do when
disasters
fill the airwaves and the consciousness of society?
· Don’t assume that the kids don’t know about
it. They probably know more
than you think. The reality of today’s world is that news travels
far and
wide. Adults and children learn about disasters and tragedies shortly
after
they occur, and live video footage with close-ups and interviews
are part of
the report. Children and youth are exposed to the events as soon
as they
can watch TV or interact with others who are consumers of the news.
Not
talking about it does not protect children. In fact, you may communicate
that the subject is taboo and that you are unavailable if you remain
silent.
· Be available and “askable.” Let kids know that
it is okay to talk about
the unpleasant events. Listen to what they think and feel. By listening,
you can find out if they have misunderstandings, and you can learn
more
about the support that they need. You do not need to explain more
than they
are ready to hear, but be willing to answer their questions.
· Share your feelings. Tell young people if you feel afraid,
angry, or
frustrated. It can help them to know that others also are upset
by the
events. They might feel that only children are struggling. If you
tell
them about your feelings, you also can tell them about how you deal
with the
feelings. Be careful not to overwhelm them or expect them to find
answers
for you.
· Help children use creative outlets like art and music
to express their
feelings. Children may not be comfortable or skilled with words,
especially
in relation to difficult situations. Using art, puppets, music,
or books
might help childrenup about their reactions. They may want
to draw
pictures and then destroy them, or they could want to display them
or send
them to someone else. Be flexible and listen.
· Reassure young people and help them feel safe. When tragic
events occur,
children may be afraid that the same will happen to them. Some young
children may even think that it already did happen to them. It is
important
to let them know that they are not at risk—if they are not.
Try to be
realistic as you reassure them, however. You can try to support
them and
protect them, but you can not keep all bad things from happening
to
children. You can always tell them that you love them, though. You
can say
that, no matter what happens, your love will be with them. That
is
realistic, and often that is all the children need to feel better.
· Support children’s concern for people they do not
know. Children often are
afraid not only for themselves, but also for people they do not
even know.
They learn that many people are getting hurt or are experiencing
pain in
some way. They worry about those people and their well being. In
some
cases they might feel less secure or cared for themselves if they
see that
others are hurting. It is heartwarming and satisfying to observe
this level
of caring in children. Explore ways to help others and ease the
pain.
· Look for feelings beyond fear. After reassuring kids,
don’t stop there.
Studies have shown that children also may feel sad or angry. Let
them
express that full range of emotions. Support the development of
caring and
empathy. Be careful not to encourage the kind of response given
by one
child: “I don’t care if there’s a war, as long as
it doesn’t affect me and
my family.”
· Help children and youth find a course of action. One important
way to
reduce stress is to take action. This is true for both adults and
children.
The action may be very simple or more complex. Children may want
to write a
letter to someone about their feelings, get involved in an organization
committed to preventing events like the one they are dealing with,
or send
money to help victims or interventionists. Let the young people
help to
identify the action choices. They may have wonderful ideas.
· Take action and get involved in something. It is not enough
to let
children take action by themselves. Children who know that their
parents,
teachers, or other significant caregivers are working to make a
difference
feel hope. They feel safer and more positive about the future. So
do
something. It will make you feel more hopeful, too. And hope is
one of the
most valuable gifts we can give children and ourselves.
Distributed by: Judith A. Myers-Walls, Extension Specialist, Purdue
University.
Developed in the days following the shooting at Combine High School
and
distributed via list serves, web pages, and handouts at programs.
***********
Susan Fitzell, M.Ed.
AIMHI Educational Programs
www.aimhieducational.com
Return to top
14. List of resources regarding tragic events provided by
Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning (Sep
2001)
From: "Kay Ragozzino" <krago>
>To: <fcasel>
>In wake of yesterday's tragic events, CASEL has attempted to
pull together
>on our webpage some links and other resources for parents, teachers,
and
>mental health practitioners on how to discuss these events with
children,
>and how to respond to emotions children might be experiencing.
>
>If you know of any other links or articles you think we should
post, please
>contact me directly at: krago, and I'll add them immediately.
>
>The current resource list can be found at: http://www.casel.org/trauma.htm
>
>Take care,
>
>Kay Ragozzino
May Stern
Coordinator of Research Projects
University of Illinois at Chicago
Department of Psychology
1007 West Harrison, (M/C 285)
Chicago, IL
maysie
Fax
Return to top
15. United States Department of Education
Helping Children Understand the Terrorist Attacks
Information on how to help children understand the terrorist attacks:
* Suggestions for Adults:
Talking and Thinking with Children About the Terrorist Attacks and
* Suggestions for Educators:
Meeting the Needs of Students
http://www.ed.gov/inits/september11/index.html
Return to top
16. Symptoms of Inner Peace
The following was found anonymously on the web ... I see much wisdom
here.
I agree with most, and disagree with some as well ... ahh, such
is the way
of each of us seeking inner peace. Marty Kirschen
- A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather
than from fears based on past experiences.
- An unmistaken ability to enjoy each moment.
- A loss of interest in judging self.
- A loss of interest in judging others.
- A loss in interest in conflict.
- A loss of interest in interpreting the action of others.
- A loss of the ability to worry. (This symptom is very serious.)
- Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
- Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.
- Frequent attacks of smiling through the eyes of the Heart.
- Increasing susceptibility to love extended by
others and the uncomfortable urge to extend it.
- An increasing tendency to let things happen rather
than make them happen.
If you have all or most of the above symptoms,
please be advised that your condition of PEACE may be so
far advanced as to not be treatable.
Author Unknown
Return to top
The Teaching Presence - Introduction and link to an article by
Rachael Kessler
In her article, The Teaching Presence, Rachael Kessler speaks of
three key ingredients to building deeper learning and humanity in
the classroom. These very connected areas are having anheart,
being aware and responsive to the present and practicing respectful
discipline. Her insightful writing touched me deeply. In reading
her work and practicing from it, I am a better teacher today - more
loving, more respectful and more aware.
It’s interesting ... I always felt that having anheart
grows primarily from practicing actions and attitudes in such areas
respect and awareness. Rachael Kessler does show this. She also
reveals some practices of the heart that not only benefit classroom
humanity directly, but also reinforce what we do regarding respectful
discipline and awareness.
I hope reading this article will be helpful in your own teaching
practices. And most importantly, be an encouragement to seek people
with “presence” and experience their company more often.
I am thinking of a grandparent, a fellow teacher, the crossing guard
at your schoo ... , a person who exudes love, respect and awareness.
I seek out, and cherish the opportunity to be in the presence of
people with that kind of presence.
I have had the good fortune to attend a teacher workshop that Rachael
Kessler led. The “talk she talks” on teaching presence
grows out of the “walk she walks.” The link below to her
website has the full text of her article and information on her
workshops.
Marty Kirschen, editor
The Teaching Presence, by: Rachael Kessler
http://www.passageways.org/teachingpresence.html
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