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1. We welcome letters from you by snail mail, by email,
coming from she mails or he mails.
Marty Kirschen
1613 Raymond Hill Road #2
South Pasadena, CA 91030
Marty
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2. Letters that have come to us
1) Looking for children who are willing to go on show regarding
bullies
Hello everyone.
As you may already know, we have already filmed the Montel Williams
show and are currently waiting to find out when this show on "bullies"
will air. I will post this date on my web site as soon as it's known:
http://hometown.aol.com/kthynoll
However, we are now looking for children/teens who are willing to
go on
another show. Miguel Sancho of CBS News show 48 Hours contacted
me regarding a show on bullies they just started working on. I'm
in charge of finding people who are interested and sending him their
contact info.
If you are a parent with a child who is a victim, please let me
know if you
would be interested in having your information forwarded for possible
inclusion in this show. If you are a teacher with students who are
bullied,
and can get permission from their parents for them to take part
in this
program, please forward me their contact info. as well.
Thanks so much,
Kathy Noll
Kathy Noll with Dr. Jay Carter
Authors, "Taking the Bully by the Horns"
kthynoll
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2) This web page is terrific in its coverage of Emotional Intelligence
and School-Family Partnerships
From the Collaboration for the Advancement of Social and Emotional
Learning listserv. http://www.casel.org/mail.htm
>From: The George Lucas Educational Foundation <blast>
>Subject: GLEF BLAST Newsletter, February 27, 2001: New Emotional
> Intelligence Content and Redesigned Web Site
>
>New Look: We've been listening to you! The George Lucas Educational
>Foundation (GLEF) has redesigned our web site to provide you
with easy
>access to innovative stories of teaching and learning for the
Digital Age.
>Site content is organized in 3 major categories: Innovative
Classrooms,
>Skillful Educators, and Involved Communities. Check out our
new look and
>let us know what you think!
>
>http://www.glef.org
>
>New Content: Emotional Intelligence
>
>"It's clear that parents don't just want SAT-smart kids.
They want kids
>who are smart, responsible, non-violent, and caring. We want
the whole
>package." - Dr. Maurice Elias, Rutgers University psychology
professor
>
>On both national and state levels, policy makers are focusing
on school
>accountability based on test scores. If our nation is truly
committed to
>improving student achievement, experts such as Dr. Maurice Elias
and Dr.
>Daniel Goleman, author of the bestseller "Emotional Intelligence,"
feel
>we must address the "missing piece" in American education
- social and
>emotional learning.
>
>Students need the skills of emotional intelligence to concentrate,
>communicate, work in teams, and cope with the personal and family
issues
>that get in the way of learning. Educators have found that such
skills
>strengthen students' readiness to learn, connecting their minds
and their
>hearts.
>
>Learn more about Emotional Intelligence at:
>
>http://glef.org/eihome.html
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3) Hosting and/or tutoring foreign students
Hi, I'm Donald W. Beattie from Winthrop, Maine. I operate an international
studies/learning center, here, and have done so for ten years. Summers,
I hire about a dozen teachers/tutors to place four students with
local families and to teach them American English, through my center
and the exchange program, NacelDoor in MN. The morning teaching
(field trips are involved, afternoons) stint is for three weeks,
weekdays, to a combination of four Spanish and French teenagers
from abroad. This is quite interesting work. Many Maine/NE teachers/residents
(especially families) have, in the past, placed students in their
home and/or taught them or both. One might wish to contact some
of the veterans. The two separate sessions are: July and August.
One can teach in both sessions or only one.
Perhaps you would know of some young teachers or experienced teachers/persons
(they do not have to be certified or English/foreign language teachers)
wanting summer work who might wish to contact me concerning my 2001
summer teacher needs. I do a thorough orientation and provide curriculum
materials and a substantial stipend plus expenses. Sincerely, Don
Beattie, 245A Main Street, Winthrop, Maine 04364. Phone: 377-6251.
PS: I'm also looking for paid, homestay, host families and paid,
local representatives ... anywhere in New England and especially
in Maine. This is a different program than the American English
Tutorial Program (AETP).
Sincerely,
Don Beattie
Nacelod
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4) Two new resources of interest to those who are interested in
SEL and academic performance
From the Collaboration for the Advancement of Social and Emotional
Learning listserv. http://www.casel.org/mail.htm
>
>1/25/01 Vol 21, No. 2 School Board News (National School Board
Association)
>"Schools Strive to Align Service Learning into Academic
Standards" by Craig
>Colgan. Showcases Pioneer High School in San Jose, CA. and addresses
>Graduation Requirement, Report Cards, Obstacles Remain, National
Model,
>Collaboration and Accountability. CNS and Leader Schools mentioned.
>
>2/01 Phi Delta Kappan "Two Special Service-Learning Projects"
description
>of two service-learning projects that bolstered both the self-esteem
and
>the academic skills of his middle school special education students.
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5) A letter concerning empathy
Dear Marty,
"Here is another thought to run by you. Perhaps I could be
really honest and
ask the mailing list a direct question that has been bothering me.
I have
found personally that I am in a real dilemma as someone trying to
reach out
to colleagues interested in promoting caring. There are some (like
you
Marty ) who are as the perfect catalyst genuinely interested in
exploring
the topic in depth for understanding and better effectiveness for
all of us.
I have personally found though that at conferences or before or
after
presentations or in later correspondences when things are not so
distracting
when I approach people who are doing talks or workshops on caring
and social
emotional learning, etc. that there seems to be little interest
in listening
to my take on the issues or how I approach the topic of caring theoretically
or practically. I realize we are all going to be somewhat biased
towards
our own ideas but I also believe the whole is larger than the sum
of it's
parts and all of us should want to even be better. Why not share
our work
and thoughts freely in a noncompetitive way to advance the cause?
This occurred to me a few years ago when I brought in a speaker
on
caring and empathy and the parent group afterwards was surprised
in the Q and A that the person really was not listening which they
thought was part of empathy.
In an instinctive protective response I pondered out loud "Are
these
speakers fighting against the competition tide and skeptical audiences
so
much that they get locked into a defensive or fighting mode to explain
our
minority stance even in friendly audiences like this one?"
I hope it is not
something more like what Jean Baker Miller and Rachel T. Hare-Mustin
said
years ago... That those who get in positions of power have little
motivation
to listen. It is only those not in power that appeal to the other's
responsibility to care. When I suggested to the parents that perhaps
these
speakers do feel they are fighting against the tide they were not
very
sympathetic. To tell you the truth I really felt surprised and disedified
myself.
Has anyone else felt this way? Such is the power I would suggest
of our
culture and our socialization but it does not have to be this way.
I am
going to carefully watch my own listening after presentations. If
we are
talking about these very important topics I do believe we need to
walk the
talk if we are going to succeed on our uphill climb. As I write
this it
seems another teen in California felt his only way to communicate
his needs
or feelings was to kill. We must get our prevention message heard.
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Ranging form excellent Asian grade to True Swiss Grade replica watches. You.
Caring for Life: Character Education for Partnership Living
Summary for book to be edited by Riane Eisler and Ron Miller It
is generally agreed that a major goal of education is to help children
grow up to be responsible and productive adults. This is the purpose
of what is today called character education. This book is about
an essential, though sometimes ignored, component of character education:
education for caring relationships rooted in a sense of reverence
for life.
Our title, Caring for Life, derives from the proposal made by one
of us (Eisler) in Tomorrow’s Children: A Blueprint for Partnership
Education in the 21st Century that caring for life – for self,
others, and our natural habitat – is integral to an education
that helps young people become the best they can be. The other editor
(Miller) recently published a collection of his essays under the
title Caring for New Life, similarly arguing that a holistic understanding
of education begins with a sense of reverence for the creative potential
within all persons and in nature as a whole.
The basic premise of Caring for Life is that helping young people
learn attitudes and skills for caring relationships is a key to
education for a good life and a better society.
The Fourth R
We are all familiar with the basic “three Rs” of reading,
writing, and arithmetic. But there is an even more basic R: relationships.
From a holistic perspective, everything that exists is interconnected,
wholes within wholes; everything is meaningful according to larger
contexts. Nothing, and no one, exists in isolation.
If we think about it, we see that the quality of our lives depends
upon the quality of our relationships. This is obvious in regard
to how we treat our friends, our families, our co-workers, the people
in our communities – and how they treat us. It may be less
obvious in how we treat the place where we all live – our natural
environment – and how it in turn treats us. But this too is
a matter of relationships. And it is not a one-way street. Whether
our air and water are clean or polluted, whether we are at risk
for cancer because of holes in the ozone layer, whether the polar
ice caps melt and flood our coastal cities – in short, whether
our natural environment nurtures life or harms life—largely
depends on how we treat our Mother Earth.
Learning Relational Skills
Schools teach many skills. But only as school violence has become
more lethal has more serious attention been given to the basic matter
of relational skills – even though we know that caring or cruel
behaviors are, like all other behaviors, learned.
Much in our popular culture today teaches young people that uncaring
relationships are normal, entertaining, and fun. Consider that in
the United States the average child is likely to have watched 8,000
screen murders and more than 100,000 acts of violence by the end
of elementary school – and that this figure will again double
by the end of his or her teens. Children’s cartoons endlessly
show violence as entertaining, manly, and without real consequences.
In cops and robbers, spy, and other “adventure” programs,
mayhem and murder are the order of the day. All this makes violence
seem only natural, even desirable and moral. It models violence,
particularly for boys, as the way to solve problems – and the
heroic way, at that.
Uncaring, and even abusive, relations are also presented as normal,
cool, and entertaining. In situation comedies, put-downs, insults,
and even physical injuries such as tripping and falling, are greeted
with laugh tracks. In music videos, the humiliation, domination,
and brutalization of girls and women are glamorized and romanticized,
making it seem as if everyone is having a wonderful time in what
are basically dehumanizing relationships.
If we agree that education, particularly character education, needs
to cultivate the best human potentials rather than the worst, then
clearly schools have a responsibility to counter the messages of
popular culture. If we desire to live in a society that values compassion
over violence, caring over exploitation, and meaningful relationships
over isolation and alienation, then schools have a responsibility
to provide young people the best knowledge we have about caring
and responsible relations based on the solid body of research we
today have about how to best care for ourselves, others, and our
Mother Earth.
Relations of Partnership/Respect or Domination/Control
The quality of our relationships, at a personal, community, cultural
or ecological level, is conditioned by the degree to which they
orient to either a partnership or dominator model of relations.
As explained thoroughly in Eisler’s earlier books, the partnership
model is a shorthand for describing relations based on mutual respect,
sensitivity, trust, and caring. The dominator model describes relations
based on insensitivity, mistrust, domination, and ultimately abuse
and even violence.
In the dominator model, difference is automatically equated with
inferiority or superiority, with controlling or being controlled,
with exploitation or being exploited. It is a way of relating in
which “superiors” control “inferiors.” This
model was much stronger in earlier more authoritarian, top-down
times. But it still lingers in many personal and social habits –
from the use of force to impose a person’s or a nation’s
will to the once hallowed “conquest of nature.” By contrast,
in the partnership model, relations are mutually beneficial and
differences can be valued, even celebrated, as in the honoring of
diversity we hear so much about today. It is the model most of us
want – the model we have been moving toward in starts and spurts,
against much resistance and periodic regressions, for the last several
hundred years. Our subtitle, Character Education for Partnership
Living, highlights this distinction.
Partnership-oriented character education is similar in many respects
to an emerging educational approach known as “social and emotional
literacy.” Both approaches seek to help young people gain more
awareness about the difference between appropriate and harmful expressions
of feelings and attitudes. Partnership education adds an important
dimension—a deeper understanding of the cultural patterns that
reinforce “dominator” or “partnership” relationships,
and tools for addressing these patterns. Caring for Life aims to
give educators and parents specific, relevant ideas for helping
our young people develop caring, compassionate, and socially responsible
attitudes toward others in their environment.
Ron Miller. milleron
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Dear fellow learners and teachers,
The Center for Social and Emotional Education has launched a new
series of social emotional learning features on our web site: www.csee.net
This month, Steven Tobias, Psy.D. talks about children developing
an
emotional vocabulary. Steve is the co-author (with Maurice Elias
and
Brian Friedlander) of two books on emotionally intelligent parenting.
These features will include a range of people talking about a
given
social and/or emotional competency (what is it? Why is it important?
And, what can we do to promote it?) or concrete steps we can talk
to
further effective social emotional education in our schools. Upcoming
features include Ray Pasi, Ph.D. (school principal and author of
‘Greater Expectations: Promoting SEL and Higher Achievement
in your
School’); David Schonfeld, MD (pediatrician and a faculty member
at
Yale’s National Center for Children Exposed to Violence) talking
about
creating safe schools; Anna Weselak (from the National PTA) talking
about strategies that further substantive home-school partnerships
and
many more!
I hope you will let us know what kinds of future features would
be most
useful to you!
Sincerely,
Jonathan Cohen, Ph.D.
Center for Social and Emotional Education
and
Teachers College, Columbia University
CSEE
1841 Broadway
New York, New York 10023
fax:
sel
Our second of two letters
AIMHI Educational Programs Newsletter
Dear Colleagues and Friends,
This is a ONE TIME ONLY mailing for those who may be interested.
AIMHI
has created a newsletter. If you are interested in receiving copies
when I
publish updates or new issues, please subscribe. My goal is to publish
at
least 4 times per year. If you would like to submit articles, please
e-mail
me with your proposal.
Thank you!
Susan Fitzell
Practical Strategies and Common Sense Wisdom for
Inclusive Caring Communities
--------------------------------------------------------
Saturday, March 23, 2002 Issue 1 VOLUME 1 ISSUE 1
CONTENTS
A Dozen Sure Fire Ways to Boost Memory in the
Diverse Classroom
Best Practice: Establish a "No Putdown Rule" in your
classroom
A Dozen Sure Fire Ways to Boost Memory in the Diverse Classroom
www.aimhieducational.com
by Susan Gingras Fitzell, M. Ed.
Do you have students who have difficulty
remembering information for tests? Most teachers do. Here are a
dozen
sure-fire ways to boost memory in your diverse classroom.
[FULL STORY]
Best Practice: Establish a "No Putdown Rule" in your
classroom
www.aimhieducational.com
by Susan Gingras Fitzell, M. Ed.
Given a teacher's inability to know how each
student will react to sarcastic humor, a "no putdown"
rule can save a lot of
heartache and, at the same time, create the foundation for a caring
inclusive classroom community.
[FULL STORY]
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1 - Regarding the book ...
"The Power of Partnership," by Riane Eisler
I am sending you the announcement that follows because I know you
care
about what is happening in our world. My new book, The Power of
Partnership, a handbook for personal, social, and political
transformation, has just been published. It offers practical tools
and
grounded hope to help us move forward at this critical time.
I am passionate about this book because of my concern about the
world our children and grandchildren will inherit, and thank you
for
helping to spread the word about this practical work.
Warmest regards,
Riane Eisler
For further information, contact ;
EMAIL:loye
OR MARJORIE CONTE. , EXT.18;
EMAIL: marjorie2
2 - Regarding an on-line course on bullying by Leslie Bowman
shared by Kathy Noll
Hello everyone.
Here is a link to Leslie Bowman's new free online course on Bullying.
There
is a lesson for the parents, one for the teachers, one for the bully
and the
rest for the victims of bullying:
http://universalclass.com/i/education/education/classes/2743.htm
Bullying is a widespread (international) problem that has serious
ramifications on students' ability to progress academically and
to grow
emotionally and socially. Every school should have a comprehensive
prevention and intervention plan that involves all students, teachers
and parents as well as the entire community. Successful
prevention/intervention plans include not only whole school education,
but support for the victims and counseling for the bullies. Successful
plans also include ongoing education and consistent enforcement
of
consequences for bullying behavior. Trying to teach the victim to
handle
bullying incidents by being assertive and ignoring the behavior
and
other such nonsense is worse than useless; it serves to further
the
victim's plight. Successful plans target the cause of the problem,
the
bully him/herself, not the victim. This class will focus on research
and
prevention/intervention plans that are comprehensive and successful.
Here is my intro to the class:
Has anyone ever said or done something to you that was SOO BAD you
either
CRIED your eyes out, got really ANGRY, or wanted to HIDE from the
world?
DON'T LET BULLIES CONTROL YOU! If you are being bullied you need
to learn
how to make it stop. Everyone has been bullied, and will be bullied,
to some
extent so it's good to learn NOW why bullies bully and what to do
about them.
Are you a bully who is angry at the world? You don't need to be!
Do you
enjoy hurting other people and can't stop doing it? Those negative
feelings
and destructive actions won't get you anything in life, except maybe
a visit
to PRISON someday. But you don't want that! Do you??? YOU ARE BETTER
THAN
THAT. Learn to STOP your bullying behavior NOW.
Hi everyone! I'm Kathy Noll. This course is based on my book, "Taking
the
Bully by the Horns." I wrote it because too many kids/teens
are depressed,
feel bad about themselves (low self-esteem), or are living in fear
-SCARED to
go to school. How can you get an education if you have to deal with
problems
all day in school and can't concentrate? You want to have a great
life
someday don't you? And a job doing something interesting that you
really love
right? Well first you need to get through school using all your
best
abilities without letting BULLYING take those wonderful abilities
from you
and BRING YOU DOWN.
Don't be a BYSTANDER! Learn all you can about bullying NOW and
help yourself,
your friends, your family, and even those adults in your life. Yes,
EVERYONE
has bullies in their lives that they need to deal with. And did
you know that
in many cases the BULLY started out as a VICTIM!
LET’S BREAK THE CYCLE!
Bullying has been around for as long as people have been around.
NOW IT'S
TIME TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!
Be kind. Be strong. Be yourselves.
Best Wishes, Kathy Noll
Kathy Noll with Dr. Jay Carter
Authors, "Taking the Bully by the Horns"
http://hometown.aol.com/kthynoll
kthynoll
3 - Regarding The Feelings Game from Ron Brill
Marty, right now there is no link for the game as it is in the pilot
testing stage. However, most of the principles illustrated are contained
in various articles and excerpts from my book posted on the website:
emotionalhonesty.com. You asked how the game is played. A general
summary
is in the announcement included in my last email to you. Following
is a
little more about how the game is used to help pre-teens learn about
taking
responsibility for their feelings:
LIZARDS: The Feelings Game has a sequence of three sessions: First,
there is a pre-game orientation for the class that plays the board
game.
(There is a separate orientation for the teacher, classroom aides
and any interested
parents of students in the class). This goes into the differences
between reptilian
and human capabilities in response to threats or danger. For example,
lizards
are limited to "instinctive" survival responses -- to
attack or hide; while humans
have other options, because they have "feelings" about
themselves vs just instinctive
reactions.
The game environment provides a safe way to experience, by chance,
common emotionally wounding experiences most students will or have
already had. It destigmatizes what otherwise are considered "negative"
experiences in youth culture by bringing hurt feelings out into
the open
(e.g., being humiliated or rejected by peers, friends moving away,
loss
of a pet, etc.) It allows students to see how other kids experience
the
same types of hurt feelings, normalizing what otherwise often is
treated
as "something wrong with me when I'm hurt." The "healing
help" cards
are opportunities to learn how to name the specific "hurts"
they draw
during the game, how this makes them feel about themselves, and
positive
"lessons" they can learn from their hurt feelings (e.g.,
how much they
care about who or what they've lost, how much they need to belong,
etc.). When, by chance, they draw a "pass the hurt" card
they also
experience what it feels like to pass their hurt onto others (i.e.,
bullying or teasing), punishing others for their own pain.
During the post-game session students discuss what it feels like
to pass
a hurt card to another (simulating revenge), or to receive someone
else's hurt. We ask how do you think the other person feels when
you
pass your hurt card to him or her. We discuss what it feels like
drawing lots of "hurt cards" without getting "healing
help" cards.
The most exciting aspect is that 10-11 year-olds really "get"
the game.
They understand the concepts very well since most are struggling
with
these in real life. And, in their daily lives, they gain greater
insight about the importance of "taking personal responsibility
for
healing their own hurt". Every student who has played the game
wants
to play it again!
Hope this gives you an idea of why there is so much excitement
about this approach to classroom emotional health education. I'm
doing
game demonstrations around the country. I plan on a few more free
game
demonstrations to schools, which is my reason for this announcement.
The game is not a commercial product for sale. It is part of a youth
violence
prevention training effort I've been involved with during the past
several years.
Best wishes,
Ron
--
Ronald Brill
Emotional Health Education
Author of: Emotional Honesty & Self-Acceptance: Education Strategies
for Preventing Violence
Website: www.emotionalhonesty.com
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